Don’t ask, don’t tell

But I do have a good feeling about 6, 11, 12, 35, 39 and 44 for this week's Lotto draw
See, kids? That’s why Jebus doesn’t answer your prayers. It would be a public relations nightmare.

However, if you are in the market for advice on interpersonal matters, you should ask an expert like Daisyfae. I have a tendency to go off on a random and convoluted tangent involving Ian Fleming quotes and you’d end up being even more confused than ever.

On the subject of emotional matters, I was chatting to Kyknoord Jr on the phone and she posed the much-dreaded question, “Why are you and Mommy divorced?” A tricky one, indeed. The answer itself is relatively simple, but how exactly do you tell a six-year old that her mother went batshit crazy and her old man is generally crap with relationships? She thinks these things are normal. Poor kid.

I suspect she was hoping for a nice short explanation like “Ah, it was the radioactivity, little one”, because I was only halfway into the backstory when told me she had to go. Hey, it was important, ok? Ben 10 was on.

40 thoughts on “Don’t ask, don’t tell

  1. So you and Jebus are not the go-to-guys? Perhaps I will check out Daisyfae.

    (The only good relationship advice I’ve ever heard is, “Can you be yourself with that other person? If not, get out!”)


  2. I’m going over to Daisyfae. She’ll tell me how to off my family. I know she will.

    How could you babble on when it’s time for Ben 10? Have some compassion, why don’t you?


  3. Hey. Wait a minute. Jebus hung out with whores, too, ya know. Just what do you suppose THAT was all about? Eh? And I agree about Daisy. She will (and has) provided a well aimed kick in the ole’ beanbag when it’s deserved.


  4. You could try telling her this: “You see, little Kyknoord Jr., I prayed to Jesus to keep your mommy and me together, but apparently Jesus doesn’t give a damn about you. Also, don’t tell your mother we had this talk. Also, don’t say the word ‘damn.'”


  5. Jeez, you mean dad wastn’ suppose to tell me my mother went batshit crazy? Oh. Mind you, mom’s answer was also less than polite. Fukken selfish bastards. Now I have to plan for two separate retirement homes. Or pray one loses their marbles.


  6. At 6, a reasonable response is, “Your Mommy and I had some problems and just could not live together, but we both love you very much.” Sounds trite, but it really is what young kids need to hear.


  7. i don’t think it matters a rat’s ass who gives relationship advice (even the invincible Daisyfae)… there is no way on this green earth to understand ANY relationship–platonic, fraternal, sexual… i just give up [walks away muttering and shaking his head in dismay]


  8. When I was 6, I asked my Dad what “pregnant” was? He told me that once you got married you could go to the hospital to buy a baby. That’s where they got my brother and I. I asked him why my uncle could buy babies when he hadn’t married his girlfriend. He said it was a secret, but that they had stolen their baby from the hospital. I looked on wide eyed! To this day I always think of that uncle as a little shifty.


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