Don’t ask, don’t tell

But I do have a good feeling about 6, 11, 12, 35, 39 and 44 for this week's Lotto draw
See, kids? That’s why Jebus doesn’t answer your prayers. It would be a public relations nightmare.

However, if you are in the market for advice on interpersonal matters, you should ask an expert like Daisyfae. I have a tendency to go off on a random and convoluted tangent involving Ian Fleming quotes and you’d end up being even more confused than ever.

On the subject of emotional matters, I was chatting to Kyknoord Jr on the phone and she posed the much-dreaded question, “Why are you and Mommy divorced?” A tricky one, indeed. The answer itself is relatively simple, but how exactly do you tell a six-year old that her mother went batshit crazy and her old man is generally crap with relationships? She thinks these things are normal. Poor kid.

I suspect she was hoping for a nice short explanation like “Ah, it was the radioactivity, little one”, because I was only halfway into the backstory when told me she had to go. Hey, it was important, ok? Ben 10 was on.

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40 thoughts on “Don’t ask, don’t tell

  1. So you and Jebus are not the go-to-guys? Perhaps I will check out Daisyfae.

    (The only good relationship advice I’ve ever heard is, “Can you be yourself with that other person? If not, get out!”)

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  2. I’m going over to Daisyfae. She’ll tell me how to off my family. I know she will.

    How could you babble on when it’s time for Ben 10? Have some compassion, why don’t you?

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  3. Hey. Wait a minute. Jebus hung out with whores, too, ya know. Just what do you suppose THAT was all about? Eh? And I agree about Daisy. She will (and has) provided a well aimed kick in the ole’ beanbag when it’s deserved.

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  4. You could try telling her this: “You see, little Kyknoord Jr., I prayed to Jesus to keep your mommy and me together, but apparently Jesus doesn’t give a damn about you. Also, don’t tell your mother we had this talk. Also, don’t say the word ‘damn.'”

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  5. Jeez, you mean dad wastn’ suppose to tell me my mother went batshit crazy? Oh. Mind you, mom’s answer was also less than polite. Fukken selfish bastards. Now I have to plan for two separate retirement homes. Or pray one loses their marbles.

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  6. At 6, a reasonable response is, “Your Mommy and I had some problems and just could not live together, but we both love you very much.” Sounds trite, but it really is what young kids need to hear.

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  7. i don’t think it matters a rat’s ass who gives relationship advice (even the invincible Daisyfae)… there is no way on this green earth to understand ANY relationship–platonic, fraternal, sexual… i just give up [walks away muttering and shaking his head in dismay]

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  8. When I was 6, I asked my Dad what “pregnant” was? He told me that once you got married you could go to the hospital to buy a baby. That’s where they got my brother and I. I asked him why my uncle could buy babies when he hadn’t married his girlfriend. He said it was a secret, but that they had stolen their baby from the hospital. I looked on wide eyed! To this day I always think of that uncle as a little shifty.

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