Also, the budget’s been cut

and I've managed to secure us a steady supply of meth
My boss believes that if it takes one guy an hour to dig a hole, then sixty guys can do it in a minute. Microsoft Project told him so, so it must be true. And don’t bother trying the “sequential process” argument, ‘cos that’s just crazy talk.

Advertisements

36 thoughts on “Also, the budget’s been cut

  1. My experience has been that readjusting the budget upwards to accommodate a rush is an effective way to dispel any deadline-tightening nonsense. Try it!

    This is one of the best blog layouts I’ve ever come across. And that’s not one of my usual witty sarcasms. Nicely done.

    Like

  2. You should really try to prove him right on the hole-digging experience. Then you push him in, and prove to him that it can also be filled back up in the same amount of time. And voila! Problems solved.

    Like

  3. Your blog is looking very spiffy!

    I’m lucky my job just takes a certain amount of time, and I can’t really be rushed or overloaded like that. I would stress out until I exploded, and there’d be Robin pieces all over the office.

    Like

    • Thanks. I imported the finest spiff from Austria.
      As to the other, it sounds like you’re saying the expression, “You want a piece of me?” could have a very literal outcome.

      Like

  4. Client: Yes, I know we’ve taken a month to choose tiles for the pool terrace but we have decided to go with grass. It’s cheaper.

    Flutter: Grass?! You realise it’s a concrete pool terrace. One needs 20cm for soil and 70mm of grass?

    Client: Oh, no! We want the inside area to flow out onto the pool terrace, at the same level.

    Flutter: Also, it’s a holiday house. You’d need to mow grass every two weeks and you will be tracking grass into your pool, messing with the PH level.

    Client: Ok, let stick with tiles.

    Flutter: Good choice.

    Client: We are going to need some more time to choose tiles.

    Next week they will come back with my wooded deck idea they tossed out at the beginning of the project and moan about project delays. Clients?! You just can’t kill them.

    Like

  5. I had a boss who believed that the way to run a business was to hire a new VP specifically to bring in new business, pay him a boatload of money and then refuse to hire people to handle the new business because of budgetary constraints.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s