The 2010 FIFA World Cup starts in South Africa on Friday.
Yes, I know that I should be thrilled to the very core of my being, despite being relentlessly bombarded with media hype for the past three fucking years.
Yes, I know that I ought to be grateful that a sizeable portion of my rates and taxes was spent constructing a venue that looks exactly like an enormous toilet bowl (yes, Cape Town Stadium, I’m talking about you).
Yes, I know that I should joyfully bow down before the Mighty and Benevolent God FIFA and give on-demand blowjobs to High Priest Sepp Blatter or risk being branded as a traitor to my country.
Thanks, but I’d rather not.