After a long and bitter fight against entropy, my scooter finally died.
I’d consulted some of the top specialists in the business, but they said that even drastic intervention would only be postponing the inevitable. They recommended that I simply allow Nature to take its course. It wasn’t an easy decision.
I loved that little clunker. It kept me mobile after my ex got custody of the car in the divorce. It carried on without so much as a murmur of complaint after several painful accidents. It kept me company after several painful break-ups. It will be sorely missed.
Vade in pace, old friend
the other side of the mountain 
Aw, that sucks… being without wheels, even those of a scooter, must be a bit kak. Once you’ve been in mourning for a suitable length of time, I suggest you get back in the saddle… a little Italian bird might just be able to cheer you up! If I remember correctly, her name is Vespa? 🙂
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I’m not sure I’ll be able to overcome the cultural differences.
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Just say “Ciao, tesoro” (sweetheart) and “molto bene” (very nice) and you’ll be fine. 🙂
Oh, and “più veloce, più veloce” (faster, faster) might help. 😀 Isn’t it a bit koud for a fiets?
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Awww… I’m dreading the death of my car. It’s almost 10 years, and that’s usually when they start needing repairs, and I can’t get to work, and I start looking at nice new cars, and I leave them in the lurch. Where do you put groceries in a scooter?
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That’s why you need to appreciate them while you still have the chance. Groceries go under the seat.
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Damn, I’m sorry! I’d offer you a lift, but with my skill behind the wheel, you run the risk of ending up resting in pieces, just like your scooter.
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I’ll let you know when I need a rest.
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sincerest condolences. but remember, the old scooters have to die to make room for the shiny new ones. perhaps someone is – at this very moment – bashing the crap out of a scooter, driving under the influence into a market stall full of muskmelons. he will trade the fruit-encrusted scraps into the dealer for a shiny new one – making your future scooter available to you…. Go now, Simba. Grieve. And tomorrow, rise to the new day, forever onward. At least until you crash the new scooter into a wall or something.
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My life is more of a dull art movie than an action adventure.
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Oh, that’s a shame.
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*sniff* hold me.
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I’m sorry for your terrible loss. There’s a whole scooter sub-culture in New York. They’re trying to get cars off the road. They want NYC to look more European. Perhaps you could Google them and form a support group. The Dead Scooter Society.
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Oh kickstand, my kickstand!
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Huh, well I just bought a Duramax diesel powered Chevy 3/4 ton crew cab truck and I’ve got a small SUV to sell now. Interested?
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Maybe if you saw it in half…?
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this is horrible news. are you sure there’s not a faith healer that can lay hands on it? or maybe borrow a defibrillator? CLEAR!!! c’mon boy…live!
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Maybe I could leave it the rain and see if homeopathic remedies will help.
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Oh, Kyknoord. I’m so sorry for your loss…
Please don’t think i’m being flippant, but you know what they say, right? After a fall, it’s important to get right back on. So come on! Buy a horse!
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The only horse I can afford at the moment is a My Little Pony. Barely.
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Your daughter would think you’re *so* cool if you bought a My Little Pony.
Wait. No. What I mean is, I would think you’re so cool.
Oh! Also, buy a Pound Puppy! I loved Pound Puppies. In hindsight, though, that *might* not solve your current transport crisis.
Or will it? No, it won’t. Probably.
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This made me cry . .
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I get that a lot.
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What are you going to do about the send off? When I was in the UK the tradition there was to find some place of outstanding natural beauty, remove anything remotely valuable, and then set fire to the beast, after which it would just rust away, becoming once again one with nature.
Here in France they enter a relentless cycle of re-use, with salvaged bits appearing again as transplants in other old scooters, but I must say the Viking funeral has a certain appeal.
Whatever, let me know the date, place & time and I’ll send flowers. OK, a flower. Dried. In an envelope. Postage isn’t cheap.
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Thanks Jon. I knew you’d understand. I’m thinking of burying it in the garden. Small ceremony; friends only. Date to be advised.
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Oh god. Traffic! (I’m sorry to hear about the demise of the silver stallion. Very sad news indeed.)
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Traffic is just the salt in the wound.
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Aaaag no man. I are sorry for your loss hey Kyk. Maybe you can gets one of those “help-my-trap” magafters now??
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Ja, I are very sad. Maybe it are time for a baiesukkel after all.
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Time for a bicycle?
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Or a rocket-powered pogo stick.
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Next stop “Taxi”dermis. They remove the oil and other juices and then it can be mounted again – even if only on a suitable platform to make for an awesome piece of installation art in your house / bijoux love palace.
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I already have some installation art. I call it ‘The Dishes’.
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What can I say that hasn’t been said already? Pull yourself together dude! See this as the beginning of a quest. A quest for money to buy a big Harley.
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Ye gods! What an appalling thought. Way to kick me while I’m down.
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Ok maybe that’s a a bit harsh. Quest for the cash for a new second-hand Vespa?
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Sorry, I don’t do re-Quests.
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My V-dub beetle died some years ago and your blog brought that tragic day back to me. To add insult to injury I move on to a Mazda Sting. No more breakdowns – but no more ‘soul’ either. Hang in there!
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Maybe a James Brown doll on the dash will help.
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So sorry for your loss… tis best to remember the good times… just don’t get all freaky and have it stuffed and mounted for your living room.
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Don’t worry, I’d never do that. Again.
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Oh noes 😦
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Yup. It is dead. D.E.D ded.
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oui..the lose of a trusty companion is always hard.
we should all have a moment of silence at your designated time for us to remember your scooter.
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Ok, moment of silence starting nnnnnnnnnnnnnow!
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I get very confused when people talk about scooters. Aren’t they things like roller skates which you power by kicking the ground? I don’t see how something like that can ever break down.
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Oh, you mean a kick scooter? They’re easy to break – just let a teenager loose on one.
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my condolences… ol’ beauts deserve a nice burial. maybe a paddle out? get yerself a new board…. 😉
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Ta. I like the idea of a burial at sea, but the local Department of Marine & Coastal Management are less enthusiastic.
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I felt the same way about my childhood bicycle, The Green Machine, I mean granted, it didnt get my through a divorce, but we did endure some painful accidents together, like not making it down “Death Hill” in one piece….
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I presume they managed to stitch all the necessary bits back on?
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Can you get it like ground up into a fine powder and put it on your shelf? Maybe in a little scooter-shaped urn?
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I’ve already donated the body to Science.
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This is terrible. I am sorry. Shall I come and give you rides? I swear I’m not running from the authorities……….. Much.
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It’s a deal! You can borrow my trench- coat and sunglasses in return.
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Nothing worse than ‘scooter’ pain.
Ride on, cowboy
~m
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