The other night Andrew and I were having our regular conversation about aliens, conspiracies and time-travel, when he mentioned that he’d decided to give up smoking for August (A bold step indeed; she must be very pretty!)
Apparently, his announcement of this fact online via a status update sparked a minor fracas with some of his contacts. What began as disagreement about second-hand smoke swiftly developed into an eccentric argument about the detrimental impacts of second-hand tattoos and second-hand mandolin playing.
Before you scoff, Science says that there are real risks associated with exposure to second-hand divorce. No, really.
I can certainly attest to the deleterious effects of prolonged contact with second-hand stupidity.
the other side of the mountain 
my high blood pressure, on occasion, is certainly due to my exposure to ‘second hand hillbilly’. doctor said take two Budweisers, shoot up an animal, go down a river in an innertube and call me in the morning.
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I thought the preferred term was Appalachian-American?
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“Men of the Soil” is the emerging term…
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So what do the women call themselves? “Sisters of the Soil”?
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I’m a second wife who’d love a second chance and I’d quite happily ditch my second-rate husband! 😀 ~wanders off waving two fingers at the world~
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Are they the fingers on your first or second hand?
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“The divorcee is a bitter fruit which squirts its sour juices far and wide.”
Alfred E Neuman
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I always say it’s better to be a carrier than a sufferer.
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Lisa Simpson: “I believe the preferred term is ‘conjoined twins’.”
Dr. Hibbert: “And hillbillies want to be called ‘Sons of the Soil’, but it ain’t gonna happen.”
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If it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, it’s probably Andrew Lloyd Webber.
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Here in Massachusetts, you can only smoke on your own private property. So smokers at my workplace, they have to smoke in their car!
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Are motorcyclists allowed to smoke in their helmets?
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Any conversation starting with aliens, conspiracy theories and time travel can only go down hill from there.
I, for one, would not be displeased to see tobacco go extinct. It would likely, sadly, be replaced with something equally, if not more, noxious.
How does one go about getting a second hand tattoo, I wonder?
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You’re just saying that because the aliens from the future are controlling your thoughts.
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Perhaps a couple of afternoons watching Takalani Sesame will catch them up on the funtamentals of advanced mathematics?
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Careful now, we don’t want anyone to be overqualified.
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I don’t mind second hand corsets….
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I volunteer to head up the team to study the effects of second-hand corsets.
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I second that.
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All in favour? The eyes have it.
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At work, I deal with second hand enthusiasm. also not so good for the heart.
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Yeah, there should be a designated area for that.
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And I can attest to the detrimental affects of second hand flatulence exposure. Nasty, let me assure you.
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A lament famously echoed by Marcellus when he said “Something is rotten in the state of Denmark”
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Humourous littany of ‘seconds’. Fellow Aussies will sympathise when I say I suffer from exposure to ‘secondary bogans’*, and the primary bogans also leave little to be desired.
*Australian hillbillies.
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Would these be the sorts who send you TMI text messages?
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People often suffer from my second-hand awesomeness, like I’m a Union Carbide plant in India.
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That explains the class action suit.
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If second hand stupidity were dangerous, I’d be a zombie right now. I’m not sure that made sense, but I’m stubbornly sticking with it.
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Can you prove that you aren’t a zombie? It’s a short step from seitan to braaaaains!
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I once had a second-hand relationship (unbeknown to me!). Off course that accompanied second-hand stupidity. Mine!
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Also, second-hand break-ups are the worst.
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OK, time to put a jukebox in here and liven up you stiffs.
Peter Tosh, Brandnew Second Hand: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPGbAUDhAxg
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Damn. Now I have the second-hand munchies.
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Second hand mandolin playing claimed my brother’s life. We also didn’t feed or clothe him. But still.
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It’s time the government started taking this threat seriously!
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