My low opinion of town planners is on record.
I am leaning towards a new theory that they are related to goldfish. The crowd of idiots I’m currently working with can just about remember the last thing I’ve told them, but any reference to an email or discussion prior to that is met with complete open-mouthed incomprehension. I have to remind them of every single previously discussed issue, every single fucking time. It’s kind of like Memento meets The House That Jack Built, but with fewer tattoos and definitely not enough killing (or indeed, cowbell). It makes for very long meetings.
The same bunch also likes to throw around the word “space” at every opportunity, which is kind of ironic when you consider their inability to think in three dimensions. They have an annoying tendency to place blocks of houses directly across drainage routes and as a result, I end up re-enacting scenes from Ghostbusters more frequently than one would expect in an office environment:
KYKNOORD: Don’t cross the streams.
TOWN PLANNER: Why?
KYKNOORD: It would be bad.
TOWN PLANNER: I’m fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, “bad”?
This is why I prefer Architects. They may be evil minions of Satan, but at least they’re capable of passing a Turing test.
One word. Canberra. *shudder*
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Another word: Parklands.
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no no make it stop.
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*double shudder*
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Still having fun at work, I see.
Will you be at the Towers demolition with a big “I fucking told you so!” sign?
🙂
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Close. Me and the other members of GreyPeace are going to chain ourselve to the towers to protest their destruction.
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So…unicorn penises are for pricking fantasy bubbles?
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That’s a bone of contention.
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I walk around New York City in amazement wondering how that got all that shit to work. Underground Manhattan is, basically, hollow. They found a way to accommodate subways, sewage, electric, gas, water and god knows what else. Pretty brilliant stuff, if you ask me. My point is that there must be SOME town planning committees out there who know what they’re doing. You just need to find the smart ones and go work for them.
Are there any other problems you’d like me to solve for you?
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Yes. Do you know where my keys are?
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i’ll have a battered, deep-fried unicorn penis. preferably served with a side of the sauteed brains of town planners…
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Coming right up.
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You would not believe what the town planners have done to the highway running through the community nearest us. For some strange reason, they decided it would be better to convert an 80 km/hr highway – which largely serves commuter traffic going through – to a 50 km/hr urban expressway. The work has been going on for nearly two years now. They totally fucked up a perfectly good working order roadway and turned it into the worst clusterfuck imaginable. And to top it off, the cunts had the nerve to put up red light and speed on green radar cameras; they’re making a fucking killing.
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I think that might have been the plan.
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At least the tip of his penis is touching the developer. Maybe he’ll get the developer pregnant and they’ll have dumb plans with money together.
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Fortunately, they’re different species.
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That never stopped Richard Gere
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True, but I don’t think he was after the pitter-patter of little feet – uh – I mean, the pitter-patter of more little feet.
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At least they have introduced the term ‘urban planner’ – haven’t they?
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They have, but it’s kind of like calling a poop lover a coprophilliac.
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in space no-one can hear you scream (hurf)
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It’s all part of the alienation process.
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Sorry, what was that you said?
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We were talking about Ripley, believe it or not.
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Ahh, the design types eith their Space and Between. About as exciting as a Dave Matthew’s Band song. I prefer the term “Void”. It’s more apt especially when used in the context of bowels or skull.
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Now with added nothingness!
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I am a void of a void
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That’s might be something to avoid.
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Get with the internets, it’s e-void.
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Now all you have to do is work in “Tell him about the Twinkie” or “I have seen shit that will turn you WHITE!” or “Yes it’s true. This man has no dick” and you’ll be awarded the title of The Man by some shadowy organization that may or may not exist.
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I’ve already used “I think this building should be condemned. There’s serious metal fatigue in all the load-bearing members” and “No offense, guys, but I’ve gotta get my own lawyer”. Does that count?
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Planners? I alwys though towns just sort of evolved along cow paths.
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Only the good ones.
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I used to cross the streams with my brother when we were young kids. PEE!
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Let me guess – you still do it?
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That is a load bearing question.
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I hope you have a structurally sound answer.
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I don’t know much about town planning, but I do know my unicorn penises!!!!
!!
!
(?)
(Er, I hope that doesn’t make me one of “them”?)
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Could be. Town planners don’t know much about town planning, either.
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Unicorn penises(sp?) are very structurally sound…..at least, that’s what she said.
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Touché
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Bunch of morons. Thats what happens when you let any hick with ANY honors degree become town planners. I once met a town planner who did an undergraduate and honors in history? WTF?
“This is why I prefer Architects.” You actually like us. I’m touched.
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That’s what she said.
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OK. So you can’t cross the streams. I get it.
But what about islands in the stream? That is what we are. Yes?
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