I work in a world of extremes.
Not too long ago, I was in the loop. Hey, I was SO in the loop, I was practically a rollercoaster test pilot. Sadly, those days appear to be over and my membership in the Mushroom Club has been reinstated.
I know I occupy one of the lower rungs on the corporate ladder. However, I never realised quite how far down I was until this morning, when I got to hear about one of the company’s new projects second-hand, via my ex-girlfriend, who read about it online. Nicely played, Management.
Can I get fries with my manure, please?
the other side of the mountain 
What?? You’re expecting management to tell the worker bees what’s going on? They don’t have time to do that – they’re too busy telling everyone else!! Or you could just blame Eskom for keeping you in the dark… 😉
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I don’t mind the dark so much as the things that go “bump” in it.
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Maybe they wanted to surprise you, as if they were giving you a present.
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You’re right! This must be my performance bonus.
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You think thats bad? The same thing once happened to me, and I am the owner and soul* employee of the company I work for!
*: Yeah, I feel good.
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You really do need to stop spiking your own drinks.
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but i like mushrooms! especially sauteed with some garlic… hold the manure though.
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Stay back! I’m armed!
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start playing “you don’t bring me flowers” on a constant loop, through the speakers on your computer. eat chocolates at your desk. leave copies of “eat, pray, love” lying around…
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I’ve already booked us into couples counselling.
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I’m with Gorilla. I think they’re going to gift wrap the project and surprise you. What else could it be? You seem so nice and calm. I can’t imagine why they’d try and ace you out of all the fun.
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You’re right. I cope with technical queries a lot better if I don’t have prior knowledge cluttering my thoughts.
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You know, I don’t want to be in the friggin’ loop. People at work want me to be in the loop and I stick my fingers in my ears and sing really loudly when they try to tell me stuff.
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I think they just like to hear you sing.
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Maybe they feel it is your responsibility to keep yourself up on what is going on in the company via the internet and rumor mill. Epic Fail on your part, by the way. You really should put more effort into keeping yourself informed.
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Agreed. Since we don’t have web access at the office, this is probably a cunning test of loyalty.
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Oh, snap.
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Not yet, but give me time…
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Maybe that’s an American expression. It means you kind of got burned.
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I would not want to be higher up on my particular corporate ladder, although I don’t whether a bunch of teachers could be conidered ‘coporate’. Try ‘mad’. Maybe treat the mushroom status as a pleasant j-cation – a holiday at work!
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I tried that once, but my keyboard got all gummed up with suntan cream.
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Can I get fries with my manure? – HILARIOUS.
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Who said there was no such thing as a free lunch?
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I thought that WAS the loop, that’s the way I’ve been getting my info for years.
OMG, you mean it isn’t!?!
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Can you tell me what’s on the agenda for the co-ordination meeting next week?
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I’ll ask my gardiner, who get’s his info from that guy at the intersection.
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I love that you’ve filed this under coprophagy
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It is deeply gratifying to know that someone noticed
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Maybe that’s the ONE email your boss forgot to forward to his entire contact list. Or should we just add some cream and ham and call you Alfredo.
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Bite me.
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‘shroooooooooms.
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No badgers, though.
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😦
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See now, with that attitude, you’ll never get to menthol anyone.
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What do you mean? I’m a good bad example.
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If you ate mushrooms, you shouldn’t mix your drugs by taking cocaine. The last thing you want whilst hallucinating is confidence.
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Great. Now what am I supposed to do on Saturday night?
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i never know what’s going on, so it’s not a surprise when i find out about it months later.
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This just in: Julius Malema is a plonker.
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Saw a shirt once that had a little mushroom on it. Caption? ‘I’m a fun-guy’. Might as well dress the part. 😉
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I once saw a mushroom with a shirt on. Tip: don’t use varnish in an enclosed space.
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I agree it’s pretty dispiriting, but on the plus side you might be able to have a little fun routing information to them in the same way on the basis that this is somehow the new “paradigm.”
Did you get my postcard BTW?
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I was thinking of going the other way and using carrier pigeons.
A postcard? How exciting! Sadly, my PO box was a postcard-free zone when I last checked it on Sunday.
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I agree with Jon in France. There is something liberating about being a mushroom…namely that henceforth, they can only expect you to operate within whatever confines you’ve been given. AND rather than being in the know, hearing all of the dirty corporate secrets, you can now be GENUINELY shocked when your HR manager calls you in and makes you sign your own probationary papers. You, being highly intelligent, will be preparing your resume in the meantime. Right?
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You’re right. It’s not good to fake it.
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“I thought you said you were a fungi?”
Epic win.
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Nursemyra beat me to it.
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Do you enjoy it when NM beats you?
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I miss you. Can I has bbeez?
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Hey, knock yourself out.
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PS love the related posts. I seems darkness ain’t listening either.
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*snort* Either that, or there’s a serious echo in here.
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I’ve never met a mushroom I liked. But I’ve never tried the hallucinogenic kind.
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Wait… so you’re saying you don’t approve of the ex-girlfriend style of imparting information?
‘Cause it seems to me like it’s the wave of the future.
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