No increases? That sucks. I wonder what my performance review is going to look like? Busy as hell for the first half of the year and then out for 3 months recovering from a heart attack. Not easy to finish goals that way, is it?
Tea ladies provide an excellent example of the utter witlessness of modern management.
When I started work in the late 1980s we had a tealady. She came round three times during the day, which meant that we stayed at our desks and she had a job.
She was dispensed with because it was an easy headcount reduction. The result was that drinks machines were installed, we spent time away from our desks being completely unproductive, the department was littered with plastic cups and someone went unemployed.
Net saving – nothing. In fact, probably less than nothing. Twats the lot of them.
We’ve given our tea lady a nickname, behind her back of course: Calamity Jane. She’s very entertaining and her escapades provide many laughs and occasional loud explosions from the kitchen area. We usually have to go and check that she is still alive.
And our financial director is convinced she spits in his coffee. 🙂
Our tea lady loves me. She’s the only person I talk to in the office – the rest of them are of absolutely no use to mankind at all – I always display my best manners and my most twinkling smile for her – she now also makes my lunch – I am the mistress of the art of charming minions that have access to food or beverages which will go in my mouth.
Someone needs to encourage her to slip some rat poinson in his beverage of choice. A little redistribultion of management salaries would do wonders. I see salary increases and bonuses for everyone. I mean what do they do anyway? Delegate? Pah!
I swear to the great spirit in the sky, these domestic chicks are put onto this earth to conspire against us. I’m absolutely convinced of it. My beloved Gloria, in her infinite wisdom, decided it would be best to remove all of our books (off the book shelf, mind you) and place them in the box next to the toilet. Promise, cross my heart.
Seems a bit Machiavellian to me. If you’re going to off yourself, surely it would be quicker to wrap yourself in bacon and attend a PETA demonstration?
I woke up last night in a cold sweat. The tea lady was in my hospital room wearing only a flimsy nightgown and nothing else. She just stared at me. What do you make of this?
So it’s either going to be nothing for elevenses, or tea and coffee with one lump or two, and I’m not talking sugar here… 😀
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I had some talking sugar once. It was from the future, like that monkey in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
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never, ever, EVER piss off the people who lurk in the shadows of your life. they rule the earth…
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If not the earth, then at least the dust.
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Hey! At least you *have* a tea lady…aren’t they usually the first casualties of corporate down-sizing?
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They wouldn’t dare!
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n the immortal words of Slackers and Baldrick:
Edmund: Fat chance! Now, all we have to do is wait. Baldrick, fix us some coffee, will you? And try to make it taste slightly less like mud this time.
Baldrick: Not easy, I’m afraid, Captain.
Edmund: Why is this?
Baldrick: ’cause it is mud. We ran out of coffee thirteen months ago.
Edmund: So every time I’ve drunk your coffee since, I have in fact been
drinking hot mud…
Baldrick: With sugar.
Edmund: Which of course makes all the difference.
Baldrick: Well, it would do if we had any sugar, but, unfortunately, we ran
out New Year’s Eve 1915, since when I’ve been using sugar substitute.
Edmund: Which is…?
Baldrick: Dandruff.
Edmund: Brilliant.
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haha… too funny Dolce
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I’d forgotten that! Thanks.
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I could go for a nice helping of Rat au Van.
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The tea lady sounds a little aggressive. Perhaps she should stick to chamomile.
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Good idea. I think the aromatherapy oil is making her fingers slippery.
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Ghosts are so dumb, they can’t even talk right
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The night shift does that to one.
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…..eh……what’s a tea lady?
No increases? That sucks. I wonder what my performance review is going to look like? Busy as hell for the first half of the year and then out for 3 months recovering from a heart attack. Not easy to finish goals that way, is it?
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It’s certainly testimony to how hard you worked in the first half of the year.
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Tea ladies provide an excellent example of the utter witlessness of modern management.
When I started work in the late 1980s we had a tealady. She came round three times during the day, which meant that we stayed at our desks and she had a job.
She was dispensed with because it was an easy headcount reduction. The result was that drinks machines were installed, we spent time away from our desks being completely unproductive, the department was littered with plastic cups and someone went unemployed.
Net saving – nothing. In fact, probably less than nothing. Twats the lot of them.
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I’d be sad to see our tea lady go. I don’t have time to break my own coffee mug.
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We’ve given our tea lady a nickname, behind her back of course: Calamity Jane. She’s very entertaining and her escapades provide many laughs and occasional loud explosions from the kitchen area. We usually have to go and check that she is still alive.
And our financial director is convinced she spits in his coffee. 🙂
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If your financial director is anything like ours, I hope she does.
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Never annoy the chaiwalla! they are the most powerful peeps in the office! If they cut of your supply of caffiene, you are done!
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Agreed. You don’t want to make an enemy of someone who has access to your tea cup. And miscellaneous fluids.
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Perhaps ‘no increase’ referred to biscuits served with tea – a new office nutirtion policy.
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Could be. Biscuits were cut last year, so they’re probably going to cut off our sugar this time round.
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This is why I don’t drink tea. Because I’m fearful of the tea lady. Or because tea tastes like lukewarm lawn. One of those things.
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Weird. Ours tastes like lawnwarm Luke. Must be a northern/southern hemisphere thing.
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that’s why i’d rather drink from a bottle of bioplus that i keep on my desk, and take home with me at night. tea ladies = dangerous.
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More dangerous than you jumped up on Bioplus? Forgive me if I’m sceptical.
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Tea Lady?
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Polo!
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Goodness, imagine how she is going to react when she hears there’s no Christmas Party this year….
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I’m scared. Hold me?
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Maybe it’s time for all of you to become teatotallers?
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I’m inclined to go in the opposite direction.
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OK, so now the tea lady goes?! What’s next? The water cooler? This is not OK. You’ve crossed the line Kyknoord.
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It’s true. I should stick to heroin; cocaine is messy.
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Hahahaha!
Sorry for the random “type-laugh”…the “mug” joke caught me off guard.
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My cup runneth over.
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It’s when the tea has an unusual aftertaste that you should really start worrying.
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That ship has sailed. All that’s left is for us to get worried about getting used to the unusual after-taste.
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Ah. I remember that feeling. Thank goodness I work for myself now.
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True, but you have to make your *own* tea now.
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Our tea lady loves me. She’s the only person I talk to in the office – the rest of them are of absolutely no use to mankind at all – I always display my best manners and my most twinkling smile for her – she now also makes my lunch – I am the mistress of the art of charming minions that have access to food or beverages which will go in my mouth.
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Careful. She could just be softening you up for the pot.
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Someone needs to encourage her to slip some rat poinson in his beverage of choice. A little redistribultion of management salaries would do wonders. I see salary increases and bonuses for everyone. I mean what do they do anyway? Delegate? Pah!
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Rat poison? Nice idea, but too humane.
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I swear to the great spirit in the sky, these domestic chicks are put onto this earth to conspire against us. I’m absolutely convinced of it. My beloved Gloria, in her infinite wisdom, decided it would be best to remove all of our books (off the book shelf, mind you) and place them in the box next to the toilet. Promise, cross my heart.
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Were those books by Stephenie Meyer, by any chance?
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Sometimes… I wish I were tea lady. It’s something I think I could really excel at.
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I always pictured you as more of a PowerPoint type of tea lady.
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LOL!!
Everyone knows you don’t mess with the tealady 😉
Tea will be late/cold/unsavoury/toosavoury etc..
Its suicide #promise
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Seems a bit Machiavellian to me. If you’re going to off yourself, surely it would be quicker to wrap yourself in bacon and attend a PETA demonstration?
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We make our own tea here.
But on the flip side, my increase was enormous.
win some, lose some, I suppose.
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I hate you. Please close the door from the other side.
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You’re very quiet…have you swallowed “bad” tea?
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No, but I did try wearing my bacon suit at a PETA demonstration.
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Now off to watch Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Way to totally distract me.
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Oh look, sea turtles!
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I really do hope you are not missing because the tea lady poisoned you…
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No, I’m missing because I have shocking aim.
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I woke up last night in a cold sweat. The tea lady was in my hospital room wearing only a flimsy nightgown and nothing else. She just stared at me. What do you make of this?
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A very small hat?
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In the death match between you and the tea lady, only one of you can survive.
I wish you luck.
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Yeah, it’s sort of like “Highlander”, only with spoons.
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Wow – so much consideration over tea!
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Taking all things into consideration, I consider it to be considerably important.
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So where the frik have you disappeared to now???
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Oh, I’ve just gone out of my mind for a bit. Back soon.
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