the other side of the mountain

difficile est saturam non scribere

Cutting-edge engineering

Posted on 16 February 2011 by kyknoord

I hope you weren't expecting your letter opener back

34 thoughts on “Cutting-edge engineering”

daisyfae on 16 February 2011 at 20:30 said:

i have thrown staplers in the office, but that has limited intimidation potential. deliberately sharpening a letter opener during a meeting might be just what the doctor ordered for my next interminable and unnecessary meeting…

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- kyknoord on 18 February 2011 at 12:56 said:
  
  Don’t forget to stare at people in a pointed way before carefully writing their names on a list.
  
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nursemyra on 16 February 2011 at 22:57 said:

Actually I DO want my letter opener back

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- kyknoord on 18 February 2011 at 12:59 said:
  
  As soon as my hydroclave is up and running. Promise.
  
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Mitzi G Burger on 17 February 2011 at 01:09 said:

Those one-armed paper slicing devices you find in the stationery cupboard aren’t called Guillotines for nothing.

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- kyknoord on 18 February 2011 at 13:01 said:
  
  Indeed. Interestingly enough, they work really well at slicing cake.
  
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  - Jon in France on 21 February 2011 at 18:47 said:
    
    Now that is the kind of useful, relevant, information I come to this blog to obtain. I’ve got a mate who can open champagne bottles with a sword (a tad wasteful, I’ll grant, but jolly spectacular) and I reckon we’d make a fine double act at the better sort of birthday party – him with his sabre, me with a piece of office equipment.
    
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    - kyknoord on 21 February 2011 at 19:07 said:
      
      I used to watch a lot of MacGyver when I was younger.
      
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alonewithcats on 17 February 2011 at 01:32 said:

There’s a sign on the door of our conference room that says “Death By Meeting.”

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- kyknoord on 18 February 2011 at 13:02 said:
  
  We hold our meetings in “The Boredroom”.
  
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  - bschooled on 21 February 2011 at 08:58 said:
    
    I knew I had to quit my job when I started spending the board meetings thinking about which of the Department Managers got laid regularly.
    
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  - bschooled on 21 February 2011 at 08:58 said:
    
    I knew I had to quit my job when I started spending the board meetings thinking about which of the Department Managers got laid the most.
    
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    - bschooled on 21 February 2011 at 08:59 said:
      
      Either/or.
      
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      - kyknoord on 21 February 2011 at 18:09 said:
        
        I think a pie-chart is called for here.
        
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Malach the Merciless on 17 February 2011 at 03:56 said:

Seppuku is an honorable way to go my friend

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- kyknoord on 18 February 2011 at 13:10 said:
  
  It would be, if I wasn’t so gutless. I usually just end up ruining my clothes.
  
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The Unbearable Banishment on 17 February 2011 at 04:00 said:

I went on Wikipedia to find out what a seppuku sword was. I got as far as “disembowelment” and stopped reading. In a way I’m jealous. My meetings are so boring.

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- kyknoord on 18 February 2011 at 13:11 said:
  
  They might be more exciting if you jazzed them up with some ritual stabbity-death scenarios.
  
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Rob on 17 February 2011 at 05:50 said:

I’ve been using my time as a meeting facilitator/leader to polish my stand up act. You can’t start too soon on the follow up career you know.

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- kyknoord on 18 February 2011 at 13:16 said:
  
  With the people skills I’m developing in this organisation, the only possible place left for me to go is the IRS.
  
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the carrot on 17 February 2011 at 13:11 said:

do you get to also show off your ninja skills at these ‘meetings’? i’m lank jealous

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- kyknoord on 18 February 2011 at 13:19 said:
  
  Samurai skills. Ninjas can keep theirs.
  
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Charmskool on 17 February 2011 at 13:23 said:

Meetings are nature’s way of providing you with nap time during the work day.

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- kyknoord on 18 February 2011 at 13:25 said:
  
  I think Nature got a different memo to the one I’m working from.
  
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dinahmow on 17 February 2011 at 13:57 said:

I hear Tupperware get-togethers are fun. Just get yourself some plastic boxes and sing a silly song…that should hurry things along.

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- kyknoord on 18 February 2011 at 13:27 said:
  
  Anything’s worth trying at least once.
  
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Tyger Katt on 17 February 2011 at 20:58 said:

I’m lucky, I never get to the painful part. Half an hour in, people around the table start looking at me strangely and then ask if I would like to leave.

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- kyknoord on 18 February 2011 at 13:27 said:
  
  So much for couples counselling, eh?
  
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  - Tyger Katt on 19 February 2011 at 17:20 said:
    
    So that’s what that was… everything makes so much more sense now.
    
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    - kyknoord on 21 February 2011 at 18:24 said:
      
      My invoice is in the post.
      
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Jo and the Novelist on 18 February 2011 at 22:59 said:

My weapon of choice for meetings is a coffee. I’m clearly keeping it too low key, and need to invest in weaponry..

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- kyknoord on 21 February 2011 at 18:24 said:
  
  It depends on what’s IN the coffee.
  
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archiearchive FCD on 22 February 2011 at 03:18 said:

They had Indian Fast Food at the meeting? Hurry Curry?

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tattytiara on 22 February 2011 at 08:38 said:

Meetings would be infinitely more productive if people came to them armed. Something tells me that the participants’ time would be more respected.

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