This might not be the place… but is is normal that when I click on the link to your RSS feed it just shows up as a giant page of code? The exact same thing happens whenever I try and subscribe to the Bloggess, so I don’t know if this is some cool-people-only thing.
My personal favorite reply to an ectensive e-mail tirade, complaining of injustice and failed leadership on my part?
“Got it. Thanks.” which means “you just wasted an hour of your time composing a message that took me ten minutes to read and a microsecond to dismiss as meaningless. Have a nice day”.
I was raised on a steady diet of Mad Magazine. They used to have the great feature called “What They Said/What They Mean.” This post was like a little walk down memory lane. And I didn’t have to pay sixty cents!
You’re right. It was only after my divorce that I understood what my ex-wife was trying to tell me. It’s a bit graphic to repeat here, but it basically involved spiky cacti and certain bodily orifices.
I think I’ll come to you for all my office-speak translational needs in future. Although, I have come to learn that “Can you minutes that, please?” translates to “Please write that down. I think it might be important, but I wasn’t listening.”
the other side of the mountain 
Quite.
Reminds me of this: http://i.imgur.com/sxCOW.jpg
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This might be my favorite so far – LOVE IT.
You have such an amazing gift for portraying office life.
And making me sad inside.
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I get that a lot.
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This might not be the place… but is is normal that when I click on the link to your RSS feed it just shows up as a giant page of code? The exact same thing happens whenever I try and subscribe to the Bloggess, so I don’t know if this is some cool-people-only thing.
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You’re lucky. Very few people have a code to live by.
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A witty and dexterously handled example of contemporary satire. (Bloody funny.)
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You’re too kind (no, really!)
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Too funny. I like the subtext of “It’s urgent”. Hahaha!
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Yup. That one is universal.
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My personal favorite reply to an ectensive e-mail tirade, complaining of injustice and failed leadership on my part?
“Got it. Thanks.” which means “you just wasted an hour of your time composing a message that took me ten minutes to read and a microsecond to dismiss as meaningless. Have a nice day”.
The management equivqalent of pinching a loaf.
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See, this is why I’ll never be a good manager. I always thought the basic principle was to facilitate the flow of faeces, not curtail it.
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Daisy – will you marry me?
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The line forms on the right, ok?
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Ah…. the passive-aggressiveness of office politics
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It’s company policy.
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I was raised on a steady diet of Mad Magazine. They used to have the great feature called “What They Said/What They Mean.” This post was like a little walk down memory lane. And I didn’t have to pay sixty cents!
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I suppose it beats cabbage soup. More fibre, too.
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Next time I want to say “FOD”, I’ll say “Of Course!” and in the back of my mind, I’ll be saying “FOD”.
You sir, have been spared from my wrath when I take over the world.
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Awesome. Do you think you could step up the programme a bit? The current bunch in charge don’t seem to have a clue.
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it’s all about funding…
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Classic. Actually, this happens in marriage, too. Only with things like dinner and something about football…
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You’re right. It was only after my divorce that I understood what my ex-wife was trying to tell me. It’s a bit graphic to repeat here, but it basically involved spiky cacti and certain bodily orifices.
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I think I’ll come to you for all my office-speak translational needs in future. Although, I have come to learn that “Can you minutes that, please?” translates to “Please write that down. I think it might be important, but I wasn’t listening.”
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No problem. I’ll send you brochure containing my very reasonable rates.
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Dammit. I gave you that one for freesies.
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“It’s urgent.” / “I can’t prioritise.”
I love you. Really, really love you. It’s (sexually) frustrating that someone who is as bitter as I am is not even in my hemisphere.
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It seems so unfair, doesn’t itt? Maybe there’s a universal bitterness distribution law in force here.
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You are priceless!
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For everything else, there’s MasterCard.
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I work in a place that thrives on acronyms and buzzwords but, essentially, it all boils down to bullshit.
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Bullshit is the lubricant of corporate intercourse.
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meeting? what meeting?
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Oh, you’re good
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You sir are tapped into the corporate environment, you serve the Old Ones Proud I see.
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Pride in one’s work is very important.
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So…what *did* happen at the meeting…?
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I’ll send you a copy of the minutes.
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It’s like you’re sitting in the office with me. Only I don’t bother with the innuendos. I speak in direct translations.
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Doesn’t that get confusing?
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