Everything is awesome!

Being a team player is far more important than not itching
Every year our marketing department circulates a memo encouraging the peons to augment their wardrobes with ghastly new corporate-branded clothing. It’s a rather heavy-handed way of telling us to conform or else.

It wouldn’t be so bad if there was something in the catalogue that I could actually bring myself to wear, but the company “look” essentially involves beige chinos and pale blue polycotton shirts – i.e. the uniform of dead souls.

I don’t think the office is ready for the magnificence of my dragon onesie just yet.

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14 thoughts on “Everything is awesome!

  1. I strongly recommend NOT stating baldly that you refuse to dress like a secretary to the woman bringing the catalogue around. Particularly if she is, at that moment, clad in a mint green shirt, knee length pin striped black with grey skirt and sensible shoes that all bear the company logo. Your document issuing will forevermore take twice as long as anyone else’s, catering for your meetings will consist of curled-at-the-corner cheese sandwiches while next door’s meeting gets sushi and wraps, and guests will be asked to wait in the drafty corridor rather than ensconced in the leather upholstered warmth of the reception area…

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  2. Are you required to purchase said clothing or is it gifted as part of your compensation package? Because I would be highly suspicious if your boss made it mandatory for you to buy specific articles of logo-branded clothing. Someone is making money off you guys. Follow the trail.

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    • The trail ends in a clearing deep in the woods. In the middle of the clearing is a run-down cabin and the distinctive twang of a banjo can be heard through the broken window…

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  3. Oh dear…There is a distinct whiff of China(or some other off-shore sweat shop). The sort of place where they can dazzle corporate leaders with quotes because they use thread that melts when ironed so your trousers fall apart when you flex your knees.On the plus side, there may entertainment to be had from this.

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  4. You could put the corporate logo on the Dragon Onesie and be a team player AND an counter-corporate asshole! Win-Win!

    In my building, we never know how to dress for the weather. In winter we are often dealing with tropical temperatures. Summer brings over-air conditioned, teeth-chattering cold. i keep a “Snuggie” in my office – and have threatened to have the organizational logo embroidered on it…

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