Hit me baby one more time

Also, I’m more into self-flagellation.  I only relinquish the whip if I get dinner first
Several times over the past few months, my boss has instructed me to attend meetings on his behalf. One may be tempted to think that he is starting to entrust me with greater responsibility, but this conclusion would only be half right.

You see, the meetings in question have all arisen as a result of some project-related calamity and I’ve been sent as the designated company shit sponge. The thing that clued me in was the fact that I hadn’t actually worked on any of these jobs.

You know that unfortunate idiot that your typical customer service department trots out whenever an irate complainant demands to speak to the manager? Yup, that would be me.

Hand me the antiseptic, please.

There is no “I” in “team”, but there’s always a “me” in “meeting”

Corporate tradition beats logic and steals its lunch money once again

Apparently work doesn’t count as “real” work if there is any residue of efficiency attached to it. It also seems that solutions to problems need to be tempered with plenty of hot air to be fully functional.

I sometimes wonder how I manage to get anything done at all.