Ancient of Days

The guy in the third panel originally said 'package deal', but that was a bit too close to the bone.
Fortunately, the first two cleared up before I exploded, or I would have ended up being the world’s most horrifying biological weapon.

The Dire Bee Tease is more of a long-term thing. Basically, I can eat turnips and very small rocks. I’m also allowed the occasional tomato, but only if I scourge myself with a cat o’ nine tails afterwards.

I don’t think my dietician likes me very much.

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Crunch!

and you might want those brakes looked at
And in other news, you may be aware that I am a keen collector of weird search terms, but yesterday’s collection was particularly noteworthy:

I particularly like the second one where they found the correct URL by searching for the correct URL

I can’t quite decide whether number three means they’re looking for a good doctor to treat the results or perform the act. Could go either way, I suppose.