Hot on the heels of the audit, performance appraisal season has begun.
It’s not that I really mind these annual soul-crushing sessions devoted entirely to how far we’re all falling short of management’s expectations, it’s just that I can’t quite figure out why management has such high expectations in the first place. I guess George Windbag Santayana has the right of it after all: “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it”
Anyway, this year they’ve introduced a new segment, which goes by the sinister title of SECTION 5 (subtitled: Your Colleagues Think You’re a Dickhead). SECTION 5 adds that extra bit of self-confidence shredding that is all too often missing in modern companies.
Still, it’s not all bad. In view of the recent SECTION 5 revelations, I am particularly gratified that my co-workers choose not to spit in my face when we pass in the passage.
the other side of the mountain 
First!
LikeLike
You know, your girlfriend probably doesn’t appreciate that kind of attitude.
LikeLike
FIRSTER!
LikeLike
Obey your first.
LikeLike
you first.
LikeLike
The first shall be last.
LikeLike
I’m quite disappointed we don’t have this section 5 thing. I think I’d come out tops. After all, everyone LOVES the girl who gets paid to be on Facebook, Twitter and blog all day. Naaat.
God I love that you’re back.
LikeLike
If you like, I could always send some of my Johannesburg colleagues over to give you a wedgie and call you names.
LikeLike
First?
LikeLike
Ok, I give up. Which Pokemon are you again?
LikeLike
There’s always some dickhead who wants your job 😦
LikeLike
I suppose. “Shit magnet” does have a certain ring to it.
LikeLike
Here in the U.S. they’re called peer reviews. They’re all the rage. Stick it unto others as you would have them stick it unto you.
LikeLike
yeah, that “attitude problem” seems to always bite me in the tukus.
LikeLike
I can certainly understand the “rage” part of that.
LikeLike
Performance reviews = power, pressure & paperwork. Pah!
And, alas, we are all dispensable.
LikeLike
That we are – one way or another.
LikeLike
we did the ‘360 degree’ review… of the 10 people who chose to add written comments on mine? 8 used the words “burnt out”. at least i’m consistent in how i treat my colleagues…
LikeLike
Maybe they cribbed off one another?
LikeLike
how do i get a password for your previous post?
LikeLike
Bribery? This is South Africa, after all.
LikeLike
These comments from other employees must be new..I left the work force before all this garbage started. Lucky me if I ever go back to the wonderful work force, I have the heads up to be really really nice to the coworkers. I was one of those people who did peer reviews just because I was a trainer..not the average bitch who you pissed off 2 days before your review by trying to force them to eat a bagel.
LikeLike
The worst part is I am trying to be nice. If I really cut loose, there would be bodies everywhere.
LikeLike
Not too worried about this seeing as the world will be ending on
12.12.1012
According to the Mayans anyway . . .
~m
LikeLike
As long as John Cusack is around, we’ll be ok.
LikeLike
Peer reviews? I never read the comments of others. I mean, I couldn’t care less what they think during the year, why would it matter what they say at performance review time?
We are using a “performance management” system adopted from GE. It’s a demoralizing system with “buckets” and “forced rankings” which means that some have to be forced into the “bottom bucket” resulting in “corrective action”. Management has been told this system sucks but, despite the fact that GE has since dropped it as “unworkable”, our management just adds more bells, whistles and new software apps.
I’m amazed by my own attitude change towards more and more into the “I don’t give a fuck” range as I rapidly approach that mythical “eligible to retire” date (which is on the date of my birth next year). Sweet freedom doth beckon.
LikeLike
Kind of puts a new spin on the concept of a bucket list.
LikeLike
Peer review sounds like the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard – bound to cause discord and kill morale. I can’t think of one positive thing that could come of it. I would approach it like the answer to “do I look fat in this dress?”. I’d just say everyone is fabulous and give my manager the finger behind his back.
LikeLike
Don’t worry, we have no more morale left to kill. The only direction from here is up.
LikeLike