The French fry Revolution

So the latest crop of cretins best and brightest of the new generation are protesting for free tertiary education again.

Their strategy this time: close the universities. Because that makes so much sense. It’s a bit like campaigning for orgasms by cutting off your penis. It seems that the shaggy-haired sandal squad are unable to recognise the giant metaphorical pistol they have aimed squarely at their unwashed collective foot. Then again, I’ve been informed that I’m “part of the problem” and “too old to understand”. I wasn’t aware that logic had an age limit, but there you go.

However, I actually DO understand why the instigators of this movement are so adamant about not paying fees: A scan of the jobs page of any local newspaper will swiftly reveal that there aren’t any organisations recruiting people with degrees ending in the word “studies”. Their future employment prospects almost certainly involve the phrase, “Would you like fries with that?”

The old joke about what you say to someone with a PhD in Humanities is a chilling reality in this country.

Piqued

The crop of imbeciles currently protesting about Chapman’s Peak are doing a bang-up job of shooting the messenger. I’m not saying that their unhappiness is unwarranted, but their vociferous complaints are about as logical as waiting until after a factory has already been built before whining to the shift supervisor that you don’t like widgets.

I’d be interested to know if any of them bothered to research the facts before buying into this farce so wholeheartedly. Of course, since it’s a lot less effort to swallow a catchy sound bite than take the time to wade through a dull pile of documentation, my guess would be “probably not”.

It’s kind of ironic, because one of the contentious issues – i.e. that of environmental degradation – was addressed in excruciating detail in accordance with the requirements of the prevailing Environment Conservation Act (one of South Africa’s proudest monuments to bureaucracy) way back in 2003. The trouble is that nobody noticed at the time. Certainly not the banner-waving “activists” who claim to be so concerned about the mountain.

In essence, to ensure that the habitat of the extremely rare phonus balonus conjobbium was not compromised in any way, numerous rounds of public consultation were undertaken before the authorities allowed construction to commence. As a result, the project was in limbo for years before spade and topsoil had their first meet-‘n’-greet. That’s when people woke up and started bitching. Shortly thereafter, the politicians and other bottom-feeders with agendas emerged and the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics got applied with ruthless and depressing efficiency.

I’m not suggesting that people stop being idiots – after all, stupidity does appear to be an essential part of the human experience. I just wish they would ration themselves occasionally.