And here I thought I was the only one receiving instructions to kill – although in my case, I suspect it’s the drugs, rather than an ear infection, that causes the hallucinations.
You can put paper clips into shredders. I think. I mean, you can put staples into shredders, and paper clips are just glorified staples. Not yours, though. Because it can talk and stuff. I’ll have to check the manual.
You know, Luke Swartz from Stanford University wrote a thesis on why people hate that paperclip so much. (http://xenon.stanford.edu/~lswartz/paperclip/paperclip.pdf). Perhaps he could help you with your wife? Sorry did I say wife? I meant “love of your life that you have clearly not moved on from”? sorry again. EX-wife.
Have you ever considered what might happen if you were nice to Clippy? I think that would cause him to spontaneously combust. Try it next time and let us know. What’s the worst that could happen? A stalking paper clip would still be the least of your problems.
I think the IT guy has clearly taken revenge for your previous post – because you could have turned clippy into the cutest puppy with but the click of a mouse button, if it still clicked … oh wait…you don’t like puppies either. You could choose the cute little kitty???? Uh Kyknoord why is your eye twitching like that?
I loathe Clippy so much I joined the Facebook group:
“People Who Hate Clippy, the Stupid Paper Clip from Microsoft Word” (Seriously!)
Soon we’re making a series of movies based on our hatred of Clippy.
Clippy on the edge
Unwanted Clip
Die Hard Clippy … and my personal favourite:
Clippy must die
the other side of the mountain 
Have you bothered to ask Clippy what meds he might suggest to cure you of all these aliments?
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Unfortunately, Clippy is a firm advocate of homoeopathic remedies.
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Did you know that the French for paperclip is “trombone?”
I kid not.
Perhaps coincidently I find the trombone a deeply irritating instrument.
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The trombone is the spiritual ancestor of the vuvuzela.
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Maybe you could fill up the spare room with, I don’t know, concrete?
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Or boxes of paperclips?
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you can make paperclips into all kinds of shapes… like a stabby thing; two birds, one stone.
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That’s strange. Clippy seems to have vanished.
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Oh, that’s who you mean by Mr. Clippy. I hate that smarmy, smirking paperclip.
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Oh, how sad. He’s absolutely nuts about you. Writes your name all over his notebook with hearts and everything.
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Does he write “Mr. Secret Agent Woman”?
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I’m starting to detect a reoccurring theme in this place. Rhymes with “strife.”
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Knife? Rife? Life? Another knife (a really big one, this time)?
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I have an ear infection that is slowly but, i suspect, surely, killing me.
So, i would kill for your paperclip. Win/win?
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And here I thought I was the only one receiving instructions to kill – although in my case, I suspect it’s the drugs, rather than an ear infection, that causes the hallucinations.
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I sort of like Mr. Clippy. He’s so helpful.
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“It looks like you have a crazy person in your office. Would you like help with that?”
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My advice to Clippy in addition to ‘fuck off’ – fuck off and recycle yourself into something less irritating.
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So sparkly vampires are right out.
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Would you like some pot? I have a good connection . . That is the paperclip saying that
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Hah! Clippy would never make a suggestion as useful as that.
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You can put paper clips into shredders. I think. I mean, you can put staples into shredders, and paper clips are just glorified staples. Not yours, though. Because it can talk and stuff. I’ll have to check the manual.
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Hey, it’s a risk I’m willing to take. Oh Clippy, where are you hiding? I have a nice surprise for you…
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“Looks like you’re trying to build a flamethrower. Would you like help with th…. Hey, HEY! AAAAAAAAARRRRRGH……”
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This summer… Wes Craven’s new nightmare, featuring Clippy Kreuger…
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We warned you not to cross the IT guy.
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Q: What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the IT guy?
A: The urge to kill yourself
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Even the paper clips are medicated at the Gimcrack. We wouldn’t have it any other way
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What kind of sedative would you recommend?
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Clippy reminds me of C3PO for some odd reason.
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That’s probably because Clippy is annoying in over six million forms of communication.
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Clippy, meet the Spinning Beachball of Death*
(*Is that a Mac only term?! if so, sorry PC people for sending that Beachball flying over your head…)
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*I’m afraid so. Clippy never knew what hit him.
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You know, Luke Swartz from Stanford University wrote a thesis on why people hate that paperclip so much. (http://xenon.stanford.edu/~lswartz/paperclip/paperclip.pdf). Perhaps he could help you with your wife? Sorry did I say wife? I meant “love of your life that you have clearly not moved on from”? sorry again. EX-wife.
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TL;DR
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Have you ever considered what might happen if you were nice to Clippy? I think that would cause him to spontaneously combust. Try it next time and let us know. What’s the worst that could happen? A stalking paper clip would still be the least of your problems.
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I suppose it’s worth a try, although I have visions of Clippy making friends with the testicle-eating pixies and that will definitely end in tears.
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I think the IT guy has clearly taken revenge for your previous post – because you could have turned clippy into the cutest puppy with but the click of a mouse button, if it still clicked … oh wait…you don’t like puppies either. You could choose the cute little kitty???? Uh Kyknoord why is your eye twitching like that?
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I have nothing against puppies, but they give me reflux. In any case, I’m an atheist, so I am required to eat babies.
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I loathe Clippy so much I joined the Facebook group:
“People Who Hate Clippy, the Stupid Paper Clip from Microsoft Word” (Seriously!)
Soon we’re making a series of movies based on our hatred of Clippy.
Clippy on the edge
Unwanted Clip
Die Hard Clippy … and my personal favourite:
Clippy must die
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How about Bride of Clippy?
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Oh my. I think I might make this my background…
I would like to torture Clippy as I do the clips on my desk.
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Torture away, but just remember that when he screams, “I know nothing!”, he’s probably telling the truth.
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Ah, Clippy.
He draws you in with his cuteness and animal magnetism (oh, is that just me?) then just relentlessly beats you down.
It’s like dating a supermodel.
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