Apply within

The bad news is that we both still work here
As much as I enjoy working with my manager’s imaginary friends, they aren’t exactly productive. Sometimes it feels as if I’m doing everything myself.

Still, I shouldn’t lose sight of the fact that they’re model employees: they work for free; they don’t waste paper; and they don’t make personal phone calls.

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22 thoughts on “Apply within

  1. Other pluses – no one to argue/disagree with, no one to get it all wrong – you get to do it (ALL!) exactly how you want it done. 😉
    (I’m not a fan of group projects & don’t delegate very well…)

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  2. I worked for a week as a “temp” (always thought that was short for “temperance”) in an engineering office and every morning, I’d be sent to get coffee, always one cup more than the number of engineers. I thought perhaps one person needed the extra caffeine.

    I met one of the typists in a pub some time later and asked her about the coffee. Turns out, one of the big cheese engineers had an imaginary friend.
    True story.

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  3. I had an assistant but she decided she preferred to be somewhere else so my boss hired me another one – but this one turns out to be imaginary. She makes far less mistakes than the last one but she’s much slower.

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  4. On the other hand, you could always go to your boss and complain that the imaginary assistants are doing a sweet FA. Tell him that they’re always chatting by the water-fountain and take too many coffee breaks. Tell him you’ve arranged a meeting for him and your assistant so he can address the situation directly.

    At which point, he’ll probably be convinced you’ve gone mental and hire some actual assistants just to fill in the blanks.

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  5. For a while there I had an imaginary boss. It was great, he actually listened when I told him I probably shouldn’t design plants to make stuff whose name I had to furtively google during the project kick off meeting…

    Glad you’re back mate!

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