Actually, I just had a headache.
However, if you phone in and tell management that you have a headache, they tell you to take a pill and suck it up. Fortunately though, they’re too squeamish to argue when there’s any mention of diarrhoea, which is kind of a shame, because it would be an excellent opportunity to tell delinquent members of staff to get their shit together.
Of course, like all other Jedi Mind Tricks, it should not be abused. For that path to the Dark Side leads. Yes.
the other side of the mountain 
i’m sure you had a dire rear attack this time last year … this is becoming a habit. management are taking note.
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Management can kiss my arse.
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The Squirts and vomiting always works
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Yup. Brings back memories of my honeymoon.
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I believe food poisoning ranks highly as the Aussie office worker/shirker’s excuse to “chuck a sickie” (abscond for the day).
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In my office “food poisoning” is code for “hangover”.
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“sorry…can’t come in today. yeah…i’ve been peeing out my ass all night.”
works every time. 😉
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Especially if you provide echoey sound effects in the background.
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Butt lying is wrong.
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Therein lies a tail…
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In my world, any hint of “female troubles” is the mother of all kitchen passes. Say “cramping” and they scatter like cockroaches under fluoresent lights…
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What a bunch of pussies. I love semantic irony.
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If you really want to see some leg-crossing amongst the gents, tell them you just got a vasectomy and the doctor’s knife slipped.
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Or the cauterising element malfunctioned. Anyone for roasted nuts?
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with a side of frozen peas.
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Miss Nurse beat me to it, I was going to talk about menstrual strife…
Sx
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It’s a communist plot!
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The best excuse for your sick leave form is to say you were unable to work because you were suffering from aprosexia.
It means inability to concentrate but not too many people are going to ask you that
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I think we may have an aprosexia epidemic at the office.
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i only got to see your witty retort now … your too far away. (for arse kissing)
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I typically just send an e-mail. A vague e-mail. TMI is kept in reserve for use at the most direst of circumstances.
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