the other side of the mountain

difficile est saturam non scribere

Luddites of the world unite!

Posted on 21 July 2010 by kyknoord

Frack!
Steven King had the right of it when he named his psychotic clown monster thing ‘IT’

ME: Couldn’t this wait until next week? We have a deadline to meet.
IT DUDE: “Wait”? “Next week”? What are these strange noises you make? Step aside or I will reactivate Clippy!

And that, my friends, is progress.

50 thoughts on “Luddites of the world unite!”

Rob on 21 July 2010 at 18:53 said:

Ah yes. The itinerant IT department. Never have so many been paid so much for doing or contributing so little. I’m not sure whether or not they are as bad or worse than the EH&S department. Leeches on my life.

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- kyknoord on 22 July 2010 at 12:57 said:
  
  Our IT guy is generally ok, but when he’s on an upgrade frenzy, people get hurt.
  
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Stephanie of Stopbouncing on 21 July 2010 at 19:05 said:

ARGH!
Anything but Clippy!!!

Pretty sure IT gets a copy of everyone’s schedule/agenda and plans upgrades accordingly- or accordingly, depending which side of the taped-up-glasses you’re on.

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- kyknoord on 22 July 2010 at 12:58 said:
  
  “Hello, it looks like you’re typing a comment. Would you like help with that?”
  
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  - Stephanie of Stopbouncing on 22 July 2010 at 16:31 said:
    
    fuck no. go the fuck away.
    
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  - nursemyra on 23 July 2010 at 10:42 said:
    
    Yes please
    
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Jon in France on 21 July 2010 at 21:19 said:

Only HR are worse than IT. Get a Rolodex and sliderule on your desk. It doesn’t just piss them off: they actively fear these items.

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- kyknoord on 22 July 2010 at 13:11 said:
  
  I’ll put them next to my ledger.
  
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dinahmow on 21 July 2010 at 22:10 said:

The same chaps who deem complete shut-downs (across4 time zones!) “essential” just when the monthly figures are being computed? Thought so.

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- kyknoord on 22 July 2010 at 13:15 said:
  
  They’re just helping to usher in the Nerdpocolypse.
  
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Helga Hansen on 21 July 2010 at 22:39 said:

Ah, the dreaded upgrade… the one that then seems to send the network into a tailspin, and everything that did work suddenly doesn’t work – and we’re always sold the upgrade by IT on the basis it’s going to make our lives so much better…. er, NOT!

I love phoning IT, with a problem, and when they run through the patter – “did you switch it off/on, have you pressed this, is it plugged in at the wall, yada-yada, yada” – and I say done it all, mate, can we get on with it all?

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- kyknoord on 22 July 2010 at 13:22 said:
  
  Definition of an upgrade: swapping old bugs for new.
  
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cew on 21 July 2010 at 23:12 said:

You can’t spell “shit” without “it”!

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- kyknoord on 22 July 2010 at 13:25 said:
  
  True, and you can’t spell “analysis” without “anal” and “sis”.
  
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daisyfae on 22 July 2010 at 01:48 said:

if it ain’t broke, break it, and establish yourself as an indispensible part of the repair process, perhaps even requiring overtime, with combat pay, to get things working again…

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- kyknoord on 22 July 2010 at 13:26 said:
  
  You consult to BP, don’t you?
  
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  - nursemyra on 23 July 2010 at 10:43 said:
    
    daisyfae consults to everyone
    
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    - kyknoord on 23 July 2010 at 12:56 said:
      
      Consulting: the second-oldest profession.
      
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The Unbearable Banishment on 22 July 2010 at 03:25 said:

On Friday we are relocating our office from midtown Manhattan down to Soho. I’m anticipating at least three weeks of fuck, fuck, fucks.

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- kyknoord on 22 July 2010 at 13:29 said:
  
  My sincere condolences. May the Fucks be with you.
  
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Malach the Merciless on 22 July 2010 at 04:45 said:

DISCORDIA FOR ALL!

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- kyknoord on 22 July 2010 at 13:31 said:
  
  Does it come in orange?
  
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Kerryn on 22 July 2010 at 07:42 said:

Aaah IT dudes. The devils spawn.
Upgrades are fun. If fun meant torture by hot pocker.

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- kyknoord on 22 July 2010 at 13:36 said:
  
  The devil’s spawn? Ah, that kind of explains how they manage to multiply without actually procreating.
  
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Dolce on 22 July 2010 at 09:25 said:

So. You’re starting to use the BSG’isms. I’m surprised you didn’t look at your computer this morning and yell “Frackin’ toaster” and blow it to smithereens.

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- kyknoord on 22 July 2010 at 13:40 said:
  
  I’m trying to wean myself off Farscapisms. Frell and dren are still firm favourites.
  
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Jean Pant... wiff a dog on 22 July 2010 at 10:09 said:

Ja, I’m not so popular with our IT department, yet very familiar. On more than one occasion have I (angrily and using many fuck words) logged a call for faulty printer software only to have IT Dude inform me that the printer cables weren’t plugged in.

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- kyknoord on 22 July 2010 at 13:47 said:
  
  That’s when you get even more upset and demand to know why you aren’t on a wireless network.
  
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Mitzi G Burger on 22 July 2010 at 14:33 said:

My work laptop has been abducted by our IT guy for an allged ‘upgrade’. I’m worried it will come back flinching.

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- kyknoord on 23 July 2010 at 12:59 said:
  
  No doubt. “It rubs the software on its hard drive or it gets the USB cable again”.
  
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robinaltman on 23 July 2010 at 02:44 said:

I don’t have an IT guy. I feel left out. I want to be tortured like everyone else! Wah!

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- kyknoord on 23 July 2010 at 13:02 said:
  
  But you’re the IT guy for people. Your job is to upgrade the brain software from “nuts” to “less nuts”.
  
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renalfailure on 23 July 2010 at 06:12 said:

Just as long as they don’t block Pandora. I need the Music Genome Project to funnel me with music at my desk so that I don’t focus on the drudgery of office work and attempt to rectify the situation by burning the world. That is, when I get a new office job.

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- nursemyra on 23 July 2010 at 10:44 said:
  
  we’re hiring at the Gimcrack RF. Got a passport?
  
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- kyknoord on 23 July 2010 at 13:07 said:
  
  Hmmm. I don’t think Ben Stein would approve.
  
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anne on 23 July 2010 at 06:54 said:

Apparently Baltimore PD is ruled by their IT department, because that’s also how The Wire coppers (see what i did?!) speak… Maybe you should consider a change of career? Word (on the…) is HBO could now do with new screenwriting blood.

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- kyknoord on 23 July 2010 at 13:09 said:
  
  If you factor in unscrupulous clients and my ex-wife, I’m not sure how much blood I have left.
  
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RubyTwoShoes on 23 July 2010 at 07:42 said:

One of the many advantages of doing the undervalued, underpaid ‘work’ of mothering is that you dont have to deal with IT guys, but all that really means is that I use my “fucks” (the adjective) for when dealing with dirty nappies….

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- kyknoord on 23 July 2010 at 13:14 said:
  
  Fun. A truly hands-on application of the GIGO principle.
  
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RK on 23 July 2010 at 07:57 said:

I am my own IT guy; I’m still upgrading…

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- kyknoord on 23 July 2010 at 13:16 said:
  
  It’ll be pretty awkward if you ever decide to fire your IT guy.
  
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ExMi on 23 July 2010 at 08:46 said:

fuck. i just clicked ‘download now’ instead of ‘fuck off and die’ when itunes told me it had a new update and asked me if i wanted to download it…

*sigh*

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- kyknoord on 23 July 2010 at 13:23 said:
  
  Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom from annoyance. And Clippy.
  
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Flutter on 23 July 2010 at 10:00 said:

What do you mean?! I love IT dudes! They are like office gods! Ok, so I never really understand what they are talking about – but hey – as long as I have internet access I’m a happy camper. I’m easy to please that way. Whenever the network is down I plug in the 3G USB modem thingy – it’s like a pacifier for a screaming baby. Ooh I’m online! Works every time.

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- kyknoord on 23 July 2010 at 13:28 said:
  
  I can’t help wondering what you sacrifice to appease these gods of yours.
  
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  - Flutter on 26 July 2010 at 10:05 said:
    
    Mostly…productivity. If I am playing on the internet not much work gets done. I figure it’s a fair tradeoff for putting up with them.
    
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Charmskool on 23 July 2010 at 13:13 said:

IT guys, lawyers, estate agents – guaranteed to fuck up your life for at least a while and never return your calls.

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- kyknoord on 23 July 2010 at 13:56 said:
  
  Kind of like dating, but with invoices thrown into the mix.
  
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thegnukid on 23 July 2010 at 13:22 said:

wait a minute, wait a minute…there must be a harder way to do this!

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- kyknoord on 23 July 2010 at 13:59 said:
  
  I know! Let’s have a meeting to discuss it.
  
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